Today I have added a few soccer links from well respected experts in their fields. First is Coach Karl who has had a major impact on youth soccer not only in the US but in other countries. His Soccer fundamental programs and books/DVDs are outstanding. Next is College Advisor’s, LLC headed by Charles Slany who is masterful in the art of preparing both your child and your financial services to enable your child to attend the college of their dreams. I use both their services in order to further educate myself regularly. Please check them out on the Soccer Links page.
Well, once again the ugly side of parents getting involved in youth sports has reared its ugly head this time close to home on my own son’s soccer team. I do not coach them as they have an outstanding coach who also is a teacher by profession, a good role model and due to the fact that I just want to be a good dad and watch him have the opportunity to grow on his own. In fact all I ever ask is that he plays hard and has fun. I then add the subliminal message, that when I played, working hard was the fun. I am also careful to ask him probing questions about his role in the game and how he thinks he played. We see too many parents who instead of using the car ride home as a chance to bond and use it as an educational experience say thinks like, “The coach should not have played Jimmy in that position”, “The goalkeeper cost us the game”, “You only played 30 minutes and Sam played 35″ , or my personal favorite “The coach cost us the game”. I recognize the my son’s team is not the top in the area but they have improved by leaps and bounds and the players are becoming proficient in the age-group appropriate techniques I believe in for long term development. So what is the problem? Obviously the team is not winning enough! So now emails have been flying around until I could not stand it anymore.
But there is an silver lining. Since I was observing my 24-48 hour rule of not responding to things that upset me in regards to coaching, player/parental behavior, etc. I was rewarded with an excellent download from US Youth Soccer regarding their vision toward the development of soccer in this country. Funny how things come out of nowhere when you need them most. Please download this document and feel free to pass it along:
http://www.usyouthsoccer.org/news/story.asp?story_id=3974
Anyway it was time to get involved and if you know me I did. In the following you will read my response. In the 26 minutes following my email I heard from over 95% of the team parents all saying thank you. I have learned in coaching and business over the past thirty years that most people allow that 5% to upset the apple cart… not on my watch! I have a saying on my office door…Illegitimus Non Corborundum…Don’t Let The Bastards Wear You Down! Live it!
Parents:
I am going to stick my nose into this situation after watching the emails fly back and forth. I am not sure what happened at the end of the season with regards to the end of the season in-house tournament but in regard to things I have read I am disappointed with the lack of respect you are showing in to Coach ___ _____ and team Administrator ___ ___who both have done an outstanding job for your child. I know in speaking with many of you, you have echoed my comments. maybe a mistake was made in terms of the end of season shielding but so what? The only people effected by this seem to be a few parents. Personally my son doesn’t care about such things and he is happy to get to play a few more games at the end of the season. Maybe that’s because his parents don’t try to live out out sports fantasies through him.
As a parent I am more than happy with what the club is doing to further educate my son. He will stay wih this team as long as he is able to make the grade. Coach ___ _____ spends more that the required time thinking and researching ways to become a better teacher and how to enhance the performance of your son. Team administrator ____ _____ has volunteered when many of us have not and she has made it easy for me as a parent to enjoy his games without a word of thanks from most of us.
As a person who is a professional soccer educator and makes my living from this sport I am completely satisfied with the progress this team has made this year. The are learning age-group appropriate techniques and things they would not learn at other clubs. But then I see the big picture, the road map in how you have to go A-B, B-C, etc. , until the player finally reaches Z in terms of physical, emotional, technical and tactical development. I like the quotes from the college coaches but they have no meaning in terms of relevance in terms of relevance to this situation nor this team. These are not collegiate nor professional athletes. I have trained many players who have gone on to win two FIFA World Championships, several Olympic Gold Medals, MLS and national club championships. The criteria we have always had was how did I perform today, regardless of the result of the game over which they may not have control. Their performance was measurement of themselves on a scale of 1-10 with 10 being the highest. If the team won but they measured their performance as a 5 they were not performing up to their own standards yet were happy for the team win. Likewise when the team lost and they rated as a 8 they were happy with their own performance but nit with the team result.
I would like you to take the time to read an article I received from US Youth Soccer this morning, “Youth Soccer in America, How Do We Measure Success?”
http://www.usyouthsoccer.org/news/story.asp?story_id=3974
I would also encourage you if you are unhappy to “man up” as Coach ____ ______ tells the boys when teaching them to take responsibility and talk to Coach ____ personally rather than hide behind letters. Interesting in that one case one of the fathers writing letters has already arranged for a tryout with another team at season’s end. Remember that a have a good relationship with all the other club directors and have heard directly from him. If you want to leave KSA fine but leave the rest of us alone! Be careful in what you wish for because it just might come true!
Roby
